Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Season Ender...

Well... I just do hope this season ender will be the most beautiful chapter that I have here on this account... I do hope so... I will not be posting this anytime soon or I may not post it - that would depend on the result of my application for a promotion...
For the past months, my experience in this account is somewhat like a telenovela - not because it caused a lot of heartaches and frustration, but it made my life a little bit kind of interesting... Anyway... looking at the past, I'd like to make some notations or I'd like to mention some people who had made my life in this account colorful... I will not use their real names to protect their identities, but will try to give them a kind of commendation... Anyway here goes... they will be mentioned in the order of their appearance in my "show..."
Special Appearances
Stan - He was the person who gave me my intial interview... still very much active here as an HR assistant - without you dude, who let me passed on the initial interview, I may just be one of the people who is still looking at the pages of the classified ads section of a newspaper.
Claus - Great dude, great mind - one of the icons of our company. Actually, 50 - 75 percent of the people in the company had undergone training under him.
Rad, Lizzy, Free-Willy, and Sherry - The big four... kind of sad because one of our trainers have returned to her country months ago... The big four trainers never gave us an easy time - coz they believe we are one of the best and should deserve the best account training an employee should experience... The other three (Rad, Free-Willy and Sherry) are still pretty much busy holding trainings to our account...
Main Casts
Jose - Once a good friend - still considered as a friend... a part of me still feels the pain after the much "talked about" love triangle... I respect whatever they have told me and it's none of my bussiness to pursue what is the status of their relationship - whether they are related romantically or if they are just friends... it's for them to keep and not for me to know... To be honest, this guy is a great friend... and will always be...
Bo - When I was still a trainee, when I would still spend my Sunday afternoons to do some "hands-on," this great supervisor would teach me some neat tricks - from troubleshooting some certain softwares to updating me with the client's updates... up to now, this mild mannered supervisor is always behind my back, supporting me in every decision that I make here at work...
Francis - The first time that we've met, he was just one of the mentors during our training... when I entered the work "arena" he is one of the recently promoted supervisors in our account... Considered as the "kuya" here at work, employees under him doesn't have any hard time approaching him and telling him their concerns - be it work or personal...
Nix - Nice looks, great mind and a great friend... This pretty girl is one of the reasons that made my stay here in this account to be bearable - she and her boyfriend are always there whenever I need some people to share my frustrations and heartaches... Nix has been one of my batchmates - and I have seen her from her heartbreaks from her asshole exboyfriend to her happy and successful lovelife...
Erwin - Nix's better half... a cool dude with a cool attitude... the right person to talk to when you need to channel negative perceptions to positive one... He's been my partner in crime in discussing the cynisms in our lives, work and faith... the good thing about this dude is you'll never end feeling negative but you'll have a second thought and reconsider your perception - which usually ends in a positive note...
Donnie - Small world! This supervisor has been my school mate in highschool - I was his senior during his freshman year... to add the surprise to my shock and awe - he turns out to be the cousin of my classmate in third and fourth year classes... small world indeed...
Lenny - The girl who stole my heart... the girl who made me cry... the girl who made my world go upside down... made me shake and weak and be strong at the same time... I fell head over heels for this girl - It was a pity for me that she never saw how sincere my feelings are for her - she just see it as a simple crush - we never had any closure about what had happened to us... we've been placed on a situation that the three of us (Me, Jose and Lenny) are being talked behind our backs... All that we have to do is to let the "scandal" die... the "scandal" died but left an enormous scar on our friendship and on my heart...
Mylene - the female version of Erwin - this "hot" momma is one of the people who I would like to talk my angst and funny moments here at work - a sweet person, a good confidant, and a very intelligent person...
Walden - He is the DAD... Known to all of us a well mannered, soft-spoken, and kind supervisor... best word to describe him - he's our DAD...
Jazz - I thought he was a supervisor when I first met him - seemed to be that looks can be deceiving - he is a fun-loving, music lovin' individual hyperactive individual (except for his alter ego - the silent, serious type, irrate individual when he's not in the mood)... This dude has been a good friend here at the floor...
Jean - Others who don't know her may perceive her to be a snob - but this supervisor may even surprise you once you get to know her personally... She may be strict but she is a kind and funny friend... Jean by the way is the girlfriend of Jazz.
Trinity - The best person to talk to in regards with your sentiments while the two of you are smoking... my best friend... there are no words that would best describe her...
Lady Tiger - I spent 4 mos with under her supervision in the much talked about special course in our company... She was my mentor, confidant, friend and career counselor during my stay with her... she is often mistaken as a snob or strict but she is not... Good leader.... =)
Cat's Life - Funny thing about this guy is his sarcasm and his cynical wisdom in life. When you got to talk with this guy, you don't get depressed but instead gets enlightended... strange huh?
Chris - Another person who is not afraid in giving his opinions... Great person to discuss things with, whether it is a serious matter or strange or crazy ideas...
Hummings and Echos - she was my classmate or teammate under Lady Tiger. A great friend, sweet girl with a very sweet smile... but careful with her, this girl can kick ass...
To all people who have shared my pains, success, funny moments and embarassing experiences, whom I wish I could include here but cannot since space would not allow me to - THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

nERve-RackiNG wEEk... (II)

It's Wednesday, still I haven't received any emails from HR regarding my application for a promotion... Yesterday, under a very weird circumstance, my mailbox became full and didn't receive any emails at all (I got 2 system administration notification for having my mailbox full). I am really anxious if those messages came from HR or not; but I am afraid to email them coz I don't want to give them the impression that I am already "that" anxious (indeed I am). I'm kinda torn between "damn if I don't, damn if I do" situation.... Aaarrrrgghhh!
I am on leave tomorrow, so it adds to the anxiety level of not seeing the emails... and it will be my rest day this coming Friday... I'll try to go here tomorrow and personally talk to the HR personnel to follow up my application... Awww....
This is really nerve-racking... waiting for something that you know, deep inside, that I will get the promotion... and my supervisors are expecting that I will get the promotion - as much as I don't want to assume or expect but part of me is telling me that I will get the job...
Can't breath.... got to breath... Arrrrgghhhh!
Breath in............................... Breath out.................. relax and take it slowly........................

Sunday, May 29, 2005

How I spent my RD1...

After my final interview, I went back to our office to talk to some of my close friends... after spending time with them - two of my good friends and I went to a food trip delight...

The three of us first went to Mcdonald's to purchase a burger - unfortunately no were burgers available when we went there... we therefore decided to eat 3M pizza... we bought the largest and let our teeth sink deep on the cheap but yummy pizza - oh, the memories of being young are suddenly remembered. We exchanged stories on how we have loved and tasted the famous 3M pizza.

After eating, I decided to spend the rest of my afternnon at the mall - luckily there was a sale of vcd in glorietta, and guess what, I was able to purchase the 5 episodes of starwars for only 75 pesos per 2 cds. That was my lucky day.

I then went to the cinemas to watch the House of Wax... I'm not really after the story or what, just want to see with my own eyes if Paris Hilton can act, and men, she DOESN'T know how (imagine why I am not surprised and dissappointed).

After reaching our house, I slept for couple of hours then woke up around 1 in the morning - wow, that was kind of long...

I emptied the contents of the bag that contains the 10 cd's of Star Wars saga and started to watch it - from the first episode up to the second... then I decided to let our tv and dvd player have some rest - damn its 4:30 in the morning already... got to take a bath since I have to go to my nephew's graduation... and since my nephew's house is far from us, I took the liberty of sleeping inside the bus...

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

nERve-RackiNG wEEk...

I went to our website just minutes ago and saw that they have posted an ad for the position that I have applied for... Kinda makes me more depressed since I haven't received any email from our HR department regarding whether I passed the interview or not... I am just waiting for a confirmation letter regarding my "supposed" to be final interview with the head of the HR...

My interview last week went on fine... the HR manager told me that she'll schedule me for the final interview that will be conducted by our VP of HR by this week or before the month of June... Still no email received whether I passed or not...

This is nerve-racking... A lot of tension is already building up inside me... I really wanted to get the position because I know I will make a big difference in that position and I may be able to show my full potential in doing that work...

AaaaAArrRRgGGHHhh!!!!! Can't take this anymore... gotta breath, gotta breath.... BRRREEEAAAATHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh..............

I just talked to my cousin for some advice - she told me to relax and let the river take its course... Good to have an ate to talk to...

I looked again at the ad - then told myself I will leave it be and do my job later like or as if this is my last day....

It's really hard to remove frustration once you expect something... yes I was expecting something... that I will get the position because I know I am the best candidate for the position that I applied for...

But...

If I still doesn't get the job... life sucks but I just have to bear with it... I just don't want my friends to perceive me as someone who is a loser...

I'll get by... just give me couple of days...

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Depression?

Days seemed to be slow this past few weeks... I had my interview last Thursday afternoon for the promotion that I applied for... The interview took about 1 and a half hours...

After that interview, there was a mixed feelings of uncertainty and realization... uncertainty, because part of me wanted to be promoted for that position and I felt that I was not been able to express myself that much and I felt that out of 10, I only got a score of 7 - not a reassuring score that would make me feel that I passed the interview; realization, 'cause I know that the people in my account are ok and I very much, in a very different point of view, enjoy my work.
I don't find things pleasurable for some unknown reason... don't know if this is depression or what... I just don't feel like laughing, or smiling... Like I just want to be left alone... I just want to sleep...
Yup, this is me... but I'll get over this... give me couple of days...

Uncertainties

I love you even if it seemed that I don't...
I will always be there although I may not be physically present...
I feel blue and miss you, although others may see me laughing and smiling...
I feel empty and helpless, even after all these achievements here in my life...

Because you are not here with us... with me...

I long for the warmth of your embrace...
The comfort of your voice...
The inspiration of your smiles had given me...
And the hope that I find in your eyes...

For you have left me... and my heart... and my love...

Monday, May 02, 2005

Farewells (II)

Farewells are not the end... it is just a beginning of a new chapter...

I am not expecting these words to come from my mind, nor do I intend to feel depressed right now... guess I am not really used in getting a lot of pressure from different stimuli in my environment...

When I came to work this afternoon, a good friend of mine just informed me that he is quitting his job... I was caught in a surprise and the only thing that I was able to say was, "Dude, that's your decision..."

My friend, for the past months, has been deciding whether to stay in the job or to quit... his reason for quitting is valid - health concerns... For the past months, he's been complaining about his health condition, his heart and his blood pressure being unstable for most of the time within our shift. Lately, he had consolted a specialist about his condition and he is just waiting for the results of the tests.

Kind of sad to hear and to know that one great person that you came to know as a friend is leaving now... I hate goodbyes, whether its for a dear friend, a love one, a relative or the like, I hated it...

I really do... but I'll manage...

I just have to face the fact that people come and people go, you just have to make the most of the time that you spend together - be it during happy times or during tough occasions in your lives...

I am not being cheesy, I am just being human... guess I am vocal enough to admit that I hate goodbyes...

To you, Chris, my friend... Goodluck and Godspeed!

Friday, April 29, 2005

Love Changes Everything

(Michael Ball)
Love, love changes everything
Hands and faces, earth and sky
Love, love changes everything
How you live and how you die
Love, can make the summer fly
Or a night seem like a lifetime
Yes love, love changes everything
Now I tremble at your name
Nothing in the world will ever be the same

Love, love changes everything
Days are longer, words mean more
Love, love changes everything
Pain is deeper than before
Love will turn your world around
And that world will last forever
Yes love, love changes everything
Brings you glory, brings you shame
Nothing in the world will ever be the same

Off into the world we go
Planning futures, shaping years
Love (comes in) and suddenly all our wisdom disappears
Love makes fools of everyone
All the rules we made are broken
Yes love, love changes everyone
Live or perish in its flame
Love will never never let you be the same
Love will never never let you be the same

And The Story Continues...

She was busy at her work, making calls to perspective employees of our company... I take my chance to get a glance of her doing her work... I am just 2 stations away from her...
When our eyes meet, I greeted her and waved at her; she smiled back and continued to do her work...
I constantly checked if she will be leaving or will be logging out from her shift... Timing is very important for this mission...
I approached my friend when I noticed that she is already packing away some of her things... My friend and I planned to go to the food station in our building and we would wait for her... Then she passed us... I immediately asked her, "Are you going home now? Coz we will be going to the *th floor, sabay ka na sa amin pababa..."
"Sige, I'll just get water," she said. I followed her with my eyes as she goes to the pantry...
My friend and I waited for a minute... then A joined us... we walked towards the elavator lobby when I started to asked for some personal questions...
She lives in Parañaque, leaves her house at 6, arrives her at the office by 8:30... Man, I feel like being tempted to switch to a morning shift just to see her...
Before we parted ways, I told her that I was checking my stuff and I was able to see a book that might interest her... told her that I will lend it to her... she seemed to be happy... (which also made me feel VERY happy)
Hhhhayyyy..... can't wait for tomorrow to come...